We are intertwined. This mercy-less and mercy-full dance of the ages. We are lovers. Forever entwined. The Muddied trampled Heart. Love endures. Love nerer dies. Love may remain silent witness for a while, then will rise again. Ever treading the Mill. Love is all, Love is without all. Love will concour all. The endless dance of submission and succession. Dance the dance of the wounded hearts.
…and let us not only beautifully dream but achieve in beauty. Let the ignoble pass and the nobel remain.
~ Fiona Macleod.
Come, come, I’m waiting for you to come.
Where footsteps softly fall, upon moss covered paths, come, come.
When twilight softly falls, you can hear my call, come, come.
When pale moonlight falls, softly lights up the night, come, come.
I wait in the wood, sorely misunderstood, come, come.
But softly. Softly your footsteps must fall, least you will no longer hear my call. And I will wait in the wood, lonely and sorely misunderstood. For you no longer come.
Images: Krist Mort
I am enjoying a surprise day off today and it has helped me understand something, which I will share here as I think it is worth mentioning.
I love storytelling. There is a part of that though that has an influence, a big influence on the way we view the world. Today is a good example of this. Usually I would be very emotionally responsive to going to work then being given the opportunity as soon as I got there to take leave simply as there isn’t enough work to go round. My immediate responses were “oh thats not good” and my thoughts snowballing into huge horror stories. Then feeling that as I haven’t planned anything in order to request vacation, it is a wasted holiday day.
Today however, I took the day. Then I realised how emotionally involved I am with that particular given situation. Simply, I could just let it be what it is. And indeed, that is what I have done.
Attachement to things. A different and deeper perception of this concept has come to me through this mornings experience.
Before I viewed attachement to things as emotional liking, not wanting to be apart from, or separated from. Not so. It also entails anything one has an emotional response to. Irrespective of the nature of the emotion (dislike, love, disgust, joy, jealousy)…anything that can be described as an emotion, then give it a situation/object/place, we can attach those emotions to. We are then, attached. I realise this through work as before it was unemotional, do your job then leave at the end of the day. Now, the culture and people in that environment are more to the forefront through the passage of time, lets say it has become fractualised, fragmented; and I have many emotional responses to work. I have become; attached. Now I must learn detachement again.
To be detached and yet fully immersed. It is an important skill to master as we travel between the worlds, to be able to discern fully the information we have been given and to be able interpret without bias. And the more practice the better! I am not saying we should be devoid of emotion, not at all. Emotion has its own uses and is a valuable tool! What I am saying, is to be able to move freely through our own emotions also. To feel them fully. Not get caught up in the net, but to glide through with ease.
The spirits of place are very slow to reveal themselves to me here. Reluctant, wary, non trusting, not in good relationship with humanity; and it’s not surprising really. The relentless trampling of feet. The woodland path is littered with rubbish. The constant background hum of traffic. A manner in the people that has little regard for the subtleties of nature. They don’t for a moment concider that they share this space and are privileged to do so. Rather believing themselves to be the only living beings here. This is what the place is telling me. And I feel it. What is interesting to observe is natures response to being over farmed and wild places being pushed to the very brink of existance. Very, very few natural places left today where the wildlife, flora and fauna can grow freely. Can just *be*. And what I notice happens in the pockets that are, these areas are covered with protective bramble thorn plants which allow no wandering human access. It is like nature’s way of saying “keep out”. The brambles arch over the land, protecting the wildlife and plants that exist underneath its protective roof. A defensive response to our intrusion and of our posession of so much of the land for ourselves, for farming or building. And in our recreation, leaving a thick, slimy boggy, overtrodden, litter ridden path in our wake. Today though, after time in the woods, for the first time in a long time, I felt my nose clearing. My body clearing. I could smell nature again. Oddly enough but true, since coming down here I have lost the subtler sense of smell. Due to the constant breathing in of fumes and pollution I suppose. Today though, I closed my eyes and felt myself melt into the woodland around me and all my sences came alive. It was beautiful! I have been out and about in my free time, but down here the muse had left me. My creativity zapped to nothing! My own adjustment to the frenzied pace and obsurdity of modern day England had left me empty and drained for a while. I have been bereft of Scotland’s beauty, finding my own self a dessolate, passionless place down here. Slowly, slowly though, the land is coming alive again. Both in the stirring of spring, the quickening, but also to my senses. The land is slowly opening itself up and revealing itself. If I can find a quiet enough space to listen to it, barely audible under the ugly raucous of modernity that is. And I pray, that today was a turn in a more creative direction.
For my beloved:
I do not question. Instead, I thank you for such sublime, abandoned moments outside of ordinary space/time where we become consummately entwined.
Come, come and meet me there, there where is neither. Where reality and unreality merge, where the lines are blurred and crossed, fixed in a point of being unfixed. A gatweway and hole in space/time.
Come, come meet me there, be there until fear prickles your skin, sweat trickles down your back, unable to turn back, let fear give way to Beauty.
Come, I will meet you there.